On Hold Once Again

Okay, we're very sad to say that we've had to place our adoption on hold once again.  But very pleased to say that it's because the Lord has chosen to bless us with a child of our very own instead!  We are NOT foregoing the adoption altogether!  But we had to make a decision that was the most financially sound and we agreed that it would be a wiser decision to place a hold on the adoption right now and pick it back up after the baby is here.  By no means do we mean to stop the process at all!  We're far too invested (spiritually, financially, and emotionally), so we're just delaying it a bit longer.

Thank you for all your support over the years and we hope you will join us in celebrating our newest blessing!

My Love Affair with Craigs List

Ever since I felt the panic settle in about getting everything together for the baby sooner rather than later, I have frantically been searching Craigs List (countless hours a day every day) in pursuit of thrifty baby purchases :)  You won't believe it but there is so much wonderful stuff out there, gently used and still in good condition, for just a fraction of the retail price!  Earlier this week I contacted a nice young lady about an Eddie Bauer travel system she had posted for sale.  It was the exact same one I had picked out in the store (except in black instead of brown), so I inquired about it.  She was hoping to sell the car seat, stroller, and car seat base for a total cost of $100 - that's over $150 in savings!  So we emailed back and forth all week and agreed to meet in the Lowe's parking lot in Salisbury this morning to check it out.  Sure enough, it was as fabulous as I expected!  The stroller has a little "wear and tear" but nothing I couldn't go in and spruce up myself.  So we bought it!  We made our first official big baby purchase today!  It felt great!  I'm looking forward to all the other little treasures that are still to come :)

Eddie Bauer Adventurer Travel System in Westlake

Bring In the Media

Last night we received the news that our Phase 1 funding had just been submitted and approved and we have officially set sail on the adoption ship!  We were informed that our next contact will be with the media team and they will provide us with the list of questions and information needed to get started on building our websites. 

Looks like we're officially underway!

Baby Harrell's First Purchases!

Okay, so while I was at the store shopping for a friend's baby shower this weekend, I stumbled upon these little treasures that I just couldn't pass up for our little one on the way:

First we have an adorable Paul Frank paci set (2 pacifiers and a clip) and then a super soft teddy bear blanket (just big enough for strollers, carseats, etc.).  I just couldn't resist the urge . . . :)

We're Moving Right Along!

We were finally able to submit all of our loan documents to the credit union last night - what a time intensive excercise that was!  Chris had been working on them for a couple of weeks already, but last night we sat down for 3 hours just to finish them all up!  It was A LOT of information, a lot of paperwork and legally binding signatures (lol), but all that matters is that it's officially done!  We should have all the funds in the bank by the end of the week!  This means that the marketing team should be contacting us as early as next week to spend time creating our webpages together (that the birthmothers will look at) in hopes of grabbing someone's attention and being matched as soon as possible!

In the meantime, we are busy coming up with ideas for the nursery, acquiring all the necessary baby "gear" (furniture, stroller, car seat, etc), and registering for baby showers!  FINALLY we get to actually feel excited about the opportunity of bringing our baby home!  It's been a long time coming . . .

Additionally, I shared the news of our adoption with my boss yesterday.  I was SUPER nervous about the timing of this news, but very relieved when he seemed genuinely happy and excited for us.  He asked some basic factual questions and ended with a dialogue around the timeline.  I told him it could be anywhere from 2-6 months and that I would be on maternity leave for at least the full 12 weeks given (through the Bank).  Other discussions will be had in the future about how to cover my role while out, but at least he knows now and I don't feel like I'm carrying around this secret anymore!  I figured, given the uncertainty of a timeframe, the most advanced notice I could possibly give him would be the best option.  So, a huge relief for me!

NC Background Checks

Yesterday we got our state background checks back - everything's clear and we are good to go!  Still waiting on the FBI checks but hopefully the turnaround time on those won't be too long.  We are chugging right along with our homestudy "stuff".

We're in a holding pattern with the loan docs at the moment but hopefully we'll get all of that stuff completed and finalized by end of next week and we can move right along to the next phase of the process - marketing!

The Harell's vs. The Cabarrus County Sherriff's Department

Okay, so I knew to expect a certain level of frustration along the way, but today's experience (so far) takes the cake!  Today we had set aside some time to obtain our background checks and fingerprint cards from the local police station.  Already, it's a pretty crappy day.  It's pouring down rain and neither of us feel inclined to leave the comforts of our office / home to visit the local government officials.  However, in hopes of keeping the momentum going, we braved the rain anyway.  I had spent some time on the phone with our homestudy agency earlier today just to clarify what it was EXACTLY that we were supposed to accomplish on our little fieldtrip downtown.  Our homestudy rep, Anne, told me that we needed to acquire 2 copies of our state background checks, FBI background checks, and fingerprint cards.  Included in the original packet of information she had sent over a few weeks ago were the applications for both the state and federal background checks.  So it appeared we had what we needed there to begin compiling the 2 packets of information required by the state and FBI.  On our way to the police department, as I'm reviewing the applications with Chris in the car, we read that both background check applications will require payment in the form of a money order or certified check.  Great!  Now, in the pouring down rain, we have to make a pit stop at the bank to obtain 4 money orders (oh, and btw, the fingerprinting area of the police department closes at 4pm on Friday's and it is now 3:23pm).  As we are sitting in the bank parking lot getting ready to go in, we review what it is exactly that we need to ask for once in the building.  There was a lot of confusion about the number of money orders we would be requesting, so Chris placed yet another call to Anne for further clarification.  Once everthing was clear, we walk into the bank and FORTUNATELY there was no line to wait in!  So we were in and out in 10 minutes with all the certified money orders we needed to move right along.  We head straight over to the police department where they inform us that they don't do fingerprinting on Friday's.  Next thing I know, the words "no, i called and spoke with someone this morning" come rolling off my lips in a completely intolerable tone!  (At this point, I really am rather frustrated with this whole charade!)  I am told that I must have spoken with someone at the Sherriff's department and that I would need to drive over there in order to get my fingerprints taken today.  UGH!  So off we go.  When we get to the correct building, we take the elevator up to the "records department" floor during which Chris gently reminds me that my expectations for customer service should be low from this point forward.  And boy was he right!  The lady that was assigned to us was a down right terror!  She couldn't have been more rude or condescending if she tried any harder.  I felt like screaming out "this is for an adoption, lady!  I'm trying to do some good here!!!"  After barely giving us the attention/guidance we deserved for this request, she handed us 2 forms to complete.  She asked us for the name and address of our agency but never indicated why she needed that information.  So we go about filling out our applications with the basic identifying information (name, address, phone number, business name & contact information, etc.).  We happily turn it back in to her (as it finally feels like we're getting somewhere in the process) to which she takes one glance at the paperwork and says "Mr. Stephen Harrell, remember when I asked you for the name and address of the agency?"  Insinuating, of course, that "business name and information" on the application implied that of the agency, not our employment information.  The entire application asked specific questions about us personally, so naturally, BOTH of us thought that "business name and contact info" meant "name and address of where you work".  So she returned our applications to us to be filled out "correctly".  FINALLY all the preliminary crap stuff was over and we were approved for the next step towards obtaining our fingerprint cards.  But it took everything inside me not to say "would it have been so hard for you to tell us that that is why you asked us for our agency information?  Because perhaps it isn't self-explanatory on the application?  Or maybe I should remind you that it's your job to be of service to the tax-paying citizens of Cabarrus County???  But I digress . . .

The good news is, we now are in possession of: 4 fingerprint cards (2/ea), 2 executed state background check applications, 2 executed FBI background check applications, and 4 money orders. Now, all we need to do is create 2 packets (1 for the State and 1 for the Fed) and mail them off!  Good-freakin'-grief!!!

And So It Begins!

The panic has officially begun!  Since the timing of things will be rather unknown (and potentially expedited), I am completely panicking about all the the stuff that needs to get done before we bring our little one home.  When I evaluate my house as a whole, the to-do list is endless; but I have to stay focused on the most important things . . . like the nursery!  I have recruited my fabulous friend, Candace, to help me set up and organize the room along the way (it's far too big a job for just one person) - and if I don't stay organized, I will get completely overwhelmed!  I'm leaning towards designing a gender neutral nursery just so I can make the best use of our time and resources.  Plus, when I think about the fact that this will not be our only adoption experience, I figure it's best to purchase items that can be reused time and time again.  So here are my initial design ideas (click on the image to enlarge):

Baby Harrell's Nursery - Design Phase 1

Bedding

Diaper Stacker

Throw Blanket

We're Approved!!!

As you are aware, we mailed in our application packet on Tuesday (7/19).  Included in that packet was a financial application requesting to borrow $40,000 from their lending partners to help finance this adoption.  To our huge surprise, we received a phone call today informing us that we were approved for $35,000 of that inital $40,000 request!!!  What a ginaormous answer to prayer that is!!!  This means a lot of things, but mostly, it means that we have zero reasons for further delay in bringing home baby Harrell.  We have set out on this journey and there is nothing holding us back anymore.  We will still do all that we can to help raise that money (because inevitably we still have to pay it all back with interest), but there is security in knowing that the bulk of this adoption is already financed and we have the freedom to move along with the process quickly.

We're coming to get you baby Harrell, getting closer everyday!

It's Only Just Begun

We mailed in our paperwork today!!!  We are officially on the adoption train!  It took us a little bit longer to complete the application than expected, there were some seriously difficult questions to asnwer!  But we feel comfortable with the choices we've made and we are 1 step closer to meeting our child :)  From here, we are waiting on approval for the financing we've requested through ANLC.  Once we are approved (within 72 hours of receiving the application) we can move forward with the homestudy and marketing efforts.  The great thing is that all 3 components work in tandem so we're not waiting for 1 thing to finish before we can start another.  I feel like this HUGE weight has been lifted now that everything is officially underway.  No more researching, no more deliberating, no more waiting!  We are ready to bring our little one home :)

The Decision Has Been Made!

We're finally at a point where we have clear direction (PTL!).  Neither of us have reservations about moving forward with ANLC, so we're planning to send in the paperwork ASAP.  Time permitting, we'll hopefully complete everything and get it in the mail before we leave for Boston on Friday.  We feel really good about this decision.  Additionally, we met with our doctor this morning about embryo adoption as well.  She was very encouraging about the process overall but specifically with me too.  I was a little apprehensive about this at first b/c I'm still a bit shaken up over our previous miscarriage earlier this year.  But we went through my charts together and she reassured me that i always produce optimal results to the meds and that my body is perfectly able to sustain a pregnancy (despite our first failure).  I think I just really needed to hear that from her to make me feel comfortable moving forward with embryo adoption.  So after meeting with her and discussing it in further detail during the car ride home, we agreed to put our names on as many nation-wide embryo donation lists as possible (recommended by Dr. Usadi) in tandem with moving forward with ANLC.  The process of embryo adoption will take some time (a year or 2 is not at all uncommon), so we figured it would be pretty safe to invest in both outlets at the same time.

So, the time has finally come, and away we go . . .

A Continued Hope & Renewed Excitement!

We've had 2 very successful meetings with ANLC and I dare say we are finally at the point of commitment!  This is no small thing as it has taken us a VERY long time to get to this point.  So to be able to say with 99.9% confidence that we have found our liason towards bringing a baby home is freakin' amazing!  We've scheduled 1 more meeting with them to discuss the financing program and I believe that once that meeting is over, we'll have all we need to move forward.  The process is so easy it's ridiculous really.  The weeks to follow will be a whirlwind for sure.  Once we mail in the Application, pictures, and money (lol), then we're off to the races!  Their marketing team will spend approximately 2 weeks with us on creating 4 different web pages and our youtube videos.  During that time we'll also be able to jumpstart our homestudy (which will take about 6 weeks).  But the great news is, after the marketing portion is complete, we are officially on the web and are able to be matched with a birthmother immediately at that point.  So even though our homestudy is not yet complete, we are still marketable.  How great is that?!  So we could literally be matched with a birthmother as soon as mid-July (although the expected wait time is 4-6 months).  Either way, we are looking very seriously at bringing our baby home by Christmas.  Holy cow!!!

A Fresh Start

For those of you out there who have been faithful blog followers for the last 2 years (I'm floored when I think about all the time that has gone by since we officially started this process . . . and still no results), you may notice a small change.  As I was perusing the journal entries of yesteryear, I found myself a little discouraged by its content.  So I decided right then and there that it was time to clean up this blog . . . start preparing for a fresh start!  All the failed attempts and let-downs of the last 2 years have no place in this story anymore.  When I open this blog, I want to be ENCOURAGED by all the new and amazing things God is doing with us NOW and not be reminded of all the lost time and disappointments that came before.

Now, do NOT freak out!  Although I did delete approximately 50 posts from this blog . . . they are not lost forever.  I printed color copies of each entry/picture and created a little book entitled "Blessed Assurance: Our Adoption Story - Part 1 - The Foundation of our Journey."  Dated July 22, 2009 - April 1, 2010.

I just felt like it was time to let everything that came before go and start anew with fresh perspective and renewed hope.  So that's just what I've done.  I did keep a small handful of entries from what will now be affectionately referred to as "Part 1", so you'll see the dates skip around a bit.  But they seemed important in light of our story of how we started the process of adoption and have gotten to where we are now.  So, alas, they made the cut! :)

Our Adoption In Christ

A few weeks ago, our church brought in a guest pastor to speak on the topic of adoption - both wordly and spiritually.  We were in Raleigh at the time (for my sister's wedding) but a sweet friend forwarded the message to me in my absence.  I listened to it this morning and was on the verge of tears during the entire message.  He so clearly speaks to the motivation behind our adoption and why we feel we are so blessed to have been called to this ministry.  Please take the time to educate yourself on this amazing opportunity . . . perhaps your heart will be pierced as well and you'll be inspired to follow the biblical command of taking care of the orphans in this way just as we were.

Video Message: Our Adoption In Christ - Dr. Tony Merida

One Step Closer . . .

Okay, so after my last post about choosing the right agency to move forward with, we took a step back and re-evaluated some things.  We spent some time gathering information and reviewing all the details for each agency we have inquired about thus far and basically came to the decision that we didn't feel comfortable with any of them (a devastating blow at the time!).  So, once again, back to the Google search I went in hopes to find one glimmer of hope that I breezed over in my previous searches that would be relevant to us now.  Upon such efforts I stumbled upon a website for a company that offers legal adoption services nationwide called Adoption Network Law Center.  Immediately I read through the entire website and loved everything about it - but having never heard of it before, I was very cautious as to whether or not it was even legit.  But to our benefit, it turns out that it is a very reputable law center throughout the country and is highly successful at what they do.  Certainly a great start so far!  So I immediately contacted them via email for more information to which they quickly followed back up with a phone call.  We were pre-screened in that inital call and scheduled for a preliminary consultation with our designated adoption coordinator on June 8th (last night).  So we spent just over an hour going through the adoption process with them from beginning to end.  We reviewed all fees required and they were very thorough and comprehensive in their presentation to us.  In a nutshell, here are the details of pursuing adoption through ANLS:

• They spend over $1m annually on marketing to birthmothers nationwide thus resulting in over 300 newborn placements a year
• After working with our adoption coordinator to setup all marketing on our behalf (4 websites, YouTube video profiles, and brochures), the average wait time to be placed is within 4 months!
• The fees are fixed (minus certain things such as travel expenses) and regulated per state laws.  They also offer financing through their company so that money is not a reason why hopeful adoptive couples are unable to achieve their dream of starting a family.
• They offer a staff that is on call for both birthmothers and adoptive parents 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
• They require prospective birthmothers to undergo an extensive pre-screening process in order to rule out any "undesirable" candidates (such as those who are looking to take advantage of medical and or social leniancies during their pregnancy or others whose intentions are fraudulous - ie. never pregnant but looking to solicit money instead).
• Our part of the adoption process is completed in less than 3 months with very little paperwork involved.  Since they are a legal firm, not an adoption agency, they handle all the paperwork on our behalf.  We will submit two 7-8 page documents alone and that's it.  All our mktg is complete within the first 2 weeks, our homestudy is complete in 6-8 weeks, and then we wait for the phone call from our Adoption Coordinator saying we have a baby!
• ANLC represents the adoptive parents, NOT the birthmothers, which works well in our favor. 

From start to end, choosing ANLC will require more of us financially, but we have the assurance of knowing the process is legally binding and finalized according to state laws, we will be placed with a newborn in a matter of mere months rather than years, and we have a much larger pool of birthmothers to choose from (which would allow us to be more selective if we choose to) and still be placed within a reasonable amount of time.  Overall, we felt great about this "agency" and have scheduled a follow-up meeting in 2 weeks to move forward with the process.  Nothing is finalized yet, but we both feel equally comfortable about proceeding with ANLC, should we choose to continue down this path.

Note the caviat in that last statement . . . "should we choose to continue down this path."  I say this because it has recently come to my attention that my beloved husband would like to pursue embryo adoption as well.  This conversation came up very randomnly earlier this week and it was clear that Chris wanted to pursue this option just as much as ANLC.  In case you aren't familar with this type of adoption, allow me to explain.  When a couple goes through IVF, there are typically several embryos left over that requires the couple to either freeze them for future use or discard them (which, in essence, is a form of abortion as embryos are considered to be a human life form).  For those couples who are successful with IVF and choose not to use their remaining embryos, they have the option to donate them to an adoption agency instead.  For us, the adoptive parents, this will allow us to experience the best of both worlds - adoption AND pregnancy.  Per my research, there is only 1 agency in NC that offers embryo adoption, however, we were very pleasantly surprised to find out that our very own team of infertility doctors and nurses at CMC Womens Institute also offers this program as well!!!!  OBVIOUSLY there are some great results from that!  Having been with this team for 3 years now, they are fully aware of our medical history and are invested in us personally. Not to mention that it will potentially be covered by our medical insurance.  Additionally, the adoptive parents are in control over choosing the birthparent couple based on profiles presented to us that we can thumb through and choose appropriately per our standards.  Because this program is offered as a service through a medical facility, it cuts out the middle man of an adoption agency, therefore also cutting down significantly on expenses and time.  And last but not least, in the state of NC, all children born are legally bound to their birthmother (ie, the woman who delivered them in the hospital), which, in this case would be me; therefore, there is no wasted time or money after the baby is born on finalizing the adoption b/c the baby is legally recognized as our "biological child" upon delivery.  So it definitely sounds like a good opportunity to pursue as well.  We are scheduled to meet with Dr. Usadi on July 5th at 9am to discuss this opportunity and our candidacy.

We are DEFINITELY one step closer to finalizing our adoption plan, but as you can see, we still have at least one major decision to make.

A Lesson In Patience

So it appears that we are certainly learning a lesson in patience already and we haven't even officially begun this process yet!  Needless to say, taking that first step of choosing an agency that's right for us is not an easy one.  I've manuevered my way through every local christian agency imaginable right now and I cannot say with complete certainty that we have yet to find "the right one".  Although I do feel one step closer. 

Initially, I was really drawn to a local Raleigh agency (Amazing Grace Adoptions) because I truly believe that they can offer a stable, consistent, and trustworthy program.  However, one of the 3 requirements they have listed before you can even submit an application is that one parent must agree to stay at home with the child until he/she is school age.  They mention that their intent here is not to be rigid or inflexible, they would just prefer that the child be raised by their new family and not a daycare center.  A concept that I truly understand and respect.  However . . . I cannot say that I am at all comfortable with being pressured into walking away from the very best job I've ever had.  Staying at home may very well be a decision that we make once the baby arrives, but I would rather it be a decision that we come to together as a family rather than out of obligation.  Honestly, in this economy, I'm very surprised that AGA can so boldly expect that of anyone.  I mean, good grief, you need 2 incomes just to afford the adoption much less the child after the adoption is finalized!  I digress . . .

The other option I'm very seriously considering is an organization called Mercy Ministries - an intake facility for women ages 13-28 with various struggles. Their program is designed to address the whole person: spiritual, physical and emotional. Services include individualized programs, biblically-based counseling, nutrition education, fitness instruction, life-skills training and educational opportunities. Their goal is to have each young woman not only complete the 6-month program, but also discover the purpose for her life and bring value to her community as a productive citizen.  Adoption services are just one of the many resources offered to these young women.  This is such good news to me, as a prospective adoptive parent, because if I am being forced into an open adoption situation (which is apparently the route that most birthmothers AND agencies are going these days), then I want to know and trust that the birthmother I am now welcoming into my home is equipped with the same biblical foundation and moral grounding as we are and would transfer well into our family.

So, this is where we are.  Time together is a luxury that Chris and I have not had in several weeks, so it's very hard to find time for these discussions much less for any advancement in the process.  If you are inclined to pray on our behalf, I would ask that you please pray for:

1. Sufficient time together for productive and fruitful conversation, resulting in confident decisions towards advancement.
2. Wisdom, clarity, and unity of thought regarding which agency is the best fit for us - both emotionally and financially.
3. Continued momentum as we spearhead this process so as to keep things moving quickly.
4. Overall peace and confidence that we are waiting on God to show Himself to us and lead us in every decision we make.

Many, many thanks!

And The Winner Is . . .

Thank you so much for casting your vote!

We're Starting Over - Take 2!

What a rollercoaster this last year has been!  I could never have predicted the events that happened to us to lead us to this point, but I can happily say now with full confidence that we are picking back up with the adoption process and hope to welcome a beautiful new baby into our home very soon!  Initially (2009), we had agreed to adopt domestically through Bethany Christian Adoption Services; however, as we re-evaluated their applicaation process and fee schedule, we weren't as confident as we once were.  We decided that it would be a better idea to spend the short amount of time it would take to research local agencies in our state until we came across the one that made us feel most comfortable about the huge step we are about to take.  We are currently in the process of doing that right now.  We don't intend to drag our feet during this, but we do want to be sure to take the time that is necessary to feel confident and at peace with the decision we are led to make.  Now, one thing we CAN do right now is choose the family photo that will be sent in with our application (one that will also be used to show the birthmothers who we are while they attempt to choose the best family for their baby).  That being said, here are a few pics that we are deciding from.  Notice that they are numbered to correlate with the poll on the right side of the page.  We are asking our family and friends to weigh in and let us know which picture you think would be most appropriate and representative of Chris and I and the love we intend to give this child.  Thanks for your help in making this decision!

Photo No. 1:

Photo No. 2:

Photo No. 3: