We're Moving Right Along!

We were finally able to submit all of our loan documents to the credit union last night - what a time intensive excercise that was!  Chris had been working on them for a couple of weeks already, but last night we sat down for 3 hours just to finish them all up!  It was A LOT of information, a lot of paperwork and legally binding signatures (lol), but all that matters is that it's officially done!  We should have all the funds in the bank by the end of the week!  This means that the marketing team should be contacting us as early as next week to spend time creating our webpages together (that the birthmothers will look at) in hopes of grabbing someone's attention and being matched as soon as possible!

In the meantime, we are busy coming up with ideas for the nursery, acquiring all the necessary baby "gear" (furniture, stroller, car seat, etc), and registering for baby showers!  FINALLY we get to actually feel excited about the opportunity of bringing our baby home!  It's been a long time coming . . .

Additionally, I shared the news of our adoption with my boss yesterday.  I was SUPER nervous about the timing of this news, but very relieved when he seemed genuinely happy and excited for us.  He asked some basic factual questions and ended with a dialogue around the timeline.  I told him it could be anywhere from 2-6 months and that I would be on maternity leave for at least the full 12 weeks given (through the Bank).  Other discussions will be had in the future about how to cover my role while out, but at least he knows now and I don't feel like I'm carrying around this secret anymore!  I figured, given the uncertainty of a timeframe, the most advanced notice I could possibly give him would be the best option.  So, a huge relief for me!

We're Approved!!!

As you are aware, we mailed in our application packet on Tuesday (7/19).  Included in that packet was a financial application requesting to borrow $40,000 from their lending partners to help finance this adoption.  To our huge surprise, we received a phone call today informing us that we were approved for $35,000 of that inital $40,000 request!!!  What a ginaormous answer to prayer that is!!!  This means a lot of things, but mostly, it means that we have zero reasons for further delay in bringing home baby Harrell.  We have set out on this journey and there is nothing holding us back anymore.  We will still do all that we can to help raise that money (because inevitably we still have to pay it all back with interest), but there is security in knowing that the bulk of this adoption is already financed and we have the freedom to move along with the process quickly.

We're coming to get you baby Harrell, getting closer everyday!

It's Only Just Begun

We mailed in our paperwork today!!!  We are officially on the adoption train!  It took us a little bit longer to complete the application than expected, there were some seriously difficult questions to asnwer!  But we feel comfortable with the choices we've made and we are 1 step closer to meeting our child :)  From here, we are waiting on approval for the financing we've requested through ANLC.  Once we are approved (within 72 hours of receiving the application) we can move forward with the homestudy and marketing efforts.  The great thing is that all 3 components work in tandem so we're not waiting for 1 thing to finish before we can start another.  I feel like this HUGE weight has been lifted now that everything is officially underway.  No more researching, no more deliberating, no more waiting!  We are ready to bring our little one home :)

The Decision Has Been Made!

We're finally at a point where we have clear direction (PTL!).  Neither of us have reservations about moving forward with ANLC, so we're planning to send in the paperwork ASAP.  Time permitting, we'll hopefully complete everything and get it in the mail before we leave for Boston on Friday.  We feel really good about this decision.  Additionally, we met with our doctor this morning about embryo adoption as well.  She was very encouraging about the process overall but specifically with me too.  I was a little apprehensive about this at first b/c I'm still a bit shaken up over our previous miscarriage earlier this year.  But we went through my charts together and she reassured me that i always produce optimal results to the meds and that my body is perfectly able to sustain a pregnancy (despite our first failure).  I think I just really needed to hear that from her to make me feel comfortable moving forward with embryo adoption.  So after meeting with her and discussing it in further detail during the car ride home, we agreed to put our names on as many nation-wide embryo donation lists as possible (recommended by Dr. Usadi) in tandem with moving forward with ANLC.  The process of embryo adoption will take some time (a year or 2 is not at all uncommon), so we figured it would be pretty safe to invest in both outlets at the same time.

So, the time has finally come, and away we go . . .

One Step Closer . . .

Okay, so after my last post about choosing the right agency to move forward with, we took a step back and re-evaluated some things.  We spent some time gathering information and reviewing all the details for each agency we have inquired about thus far and basically came to the decision that we didn't feel comfortable with any of them (a devastating blow at the time!).  So, once again, back to the Google search I went in hopes to find one glimmer of hope that I breezed over in my previous searches that would be relevant to us now.  Upon such efforts I stumbled upon a website for a company that offers legal adoption services nationwide called Adoption Network Law Center.  Immediately I read through the entire website and loved everything about it - but having never heard of it before, I was very cautious as to whether or not it was even legit.  But to our benefit, it turns out that it is a very reputable law center throughout the country and is highly successful at what they do.  Certainly a great start so far!  So I immediately contacted them via email for more information to which they quickly followed back up with a phone call.  We were pre-screened in that inital call and scheduled for a preliminary consultation with our designated adoption coordinator on June 8th (last night).  So we spent just over an hour going through the adoption process with them from beginning to end.  We reviewed all fees required and they were very thorough and comprehensive in their presentation to us.  In a nutshell, here are the details of pursuing adoption through ANLS:

• They spend over $1m annually on marketing to birthmothers nationwide thus resulting in over 300 newborn placements a year
• After working with our adoption coordinator to setup all marketing on our behalf (4 websites, YouTube video profiles, and brochures), the average wait time to be placed is within 4 months!
• The fees are fixed (minus certain things such as travel expenses) and regulated per state laws.  They also offer financing through their company so that money is not a reason why hopeful adoptive couples are unable to achieve their dream of starting a family.
• They offer a staff that is on call for both birthmothers and adoptive parents 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
• They require prospective birthmothers to undergo an extensive pre-screening process in order to rule out any "undesirable" candidates (such as those who are looking to take advantage of medical and or social leniancies during their pregnancy or others whose intentions are fraudulous - ie. never pregnant but looking to solicit money instead).
• Our part of the adoption process is completed in less than 3 months with very little paperwork involved.  Since they are a legal firm, not an adoption agency, they handle all the paperwork on our behalf.  We will submit two 7-8 page documents alone and that's it.  All our mktg is complete within the first 2 weeks, our homestudy is complete in 6-8 weeks, and then we wait for the phone call from our Adoption Coordinator saying we have a baby!
• ANLC represents the adoptive parents, NOT the birthmothers, which works well in our favor. 

From start to end, choosing ANLC will require more of us financially, but we have the assurance of knowing the process is legally binding and finalized according to state laws, we will be placed with a newborn in a matter of mere months rather than years, and we have a much larger pool of birthmothers to choose from (which would allow us to be more selective if we choose to) and still be placed within a reasonable amount of time.  Overall, we felt great about this "agency" and have scheduled a follow-up meeting in 2 weeks to move forward with the process.  Nothing is finalized yet, but we both feel equally comfortable about proceeding with ANLC, should we choose to continue down this path.

Note the caviat in that last statement . . . "should we choose to continue down this path."  I say this because it has recently come to my attention that my beloved husband would like to pursue embryo adoption as well.  This conversation came up very randomnly earlier this week and it was clear that Chris wanted to pursue this option just as much as ANLC.  In case you aren't familar with this type of adoption, allow me to explain.  When a couple goes through IVF, there are typically several embryos left over that requires the couple to either freeze them for future use or discard them (which, in essence, is a form of abortion as embryos are considered to be a human life form).  For those couples who are successful with IVF and choose not to use their remaining embryos, they have the option to donate them to an adoption agency instead.  For us, the adoptive parents, this will allow us to experience the best of both worlds - adoption AND pregnancy.  Per my research, there is only 1 agency in NC that offers embryo adoption, however, we were very pleasantly surprised to find out that our very own team of infertility doctors and nurses at CMC Womens Institute also offers this program as well!!!!  OBVIOUSLY there are some great results from that!  Having been with this team for 3 years now, they are fully aware of our medical history and are invested in us personally. Not to mention that it will potentially be covered by our medical insurance.  Additionally, the adoptive parents are in control over choosing the birthparent couple based on profiles presented to us that we can thumb through and choose appropriately per our standards.  Because this program is offered as a service through a medical facility, it cuts out the middle man of an adoption agency, therefore also cutting down significantly on expenses and time.  And last but not least, in the state of NC, all children born are legally bound to their birthmother (ie, the woman who delivered them in the hospital), which, in this case would be me; therefore, there is no wasted time or money after the baby is born on finalizing the adoption b/c the baby is legally recognized as our "biological child" upon delivery.  So it definitely sounds like a good opportunity to pursue as well.  We are scheduled to meet with Dr. Usadi on July 5th at 9am to discuss this opportunity and our candidacy.

We are DEFINITELY one step closer to finalizing our adoption plan, but as you can see, we still have at least one major decision to make.

A Lesson In Patience

So it appears that we are certainly learning a lesson in patience already and we haven't even officially begun this process yet!  Needless to say, taking that first step of choosing an agency that's right for us is not an easy one.  I've manuevered my way through every local christian agency imaginable right now and I cannot say with complete certainty that we have yet to find "the right one".  Although I do feel one step closer. 

Initially, I was really drawn to a local Raleigh agency (Amazing Grace Adoptions) because I truly believe that they can offer a stable, consistent, and trustworthy program.  However, one of the 3 requirements they have listed before you can even submit an application is that one parent must agree to stay at home with the child until he/she is school age.  They mention that their intent here is not to be rigid or inflexible, they would just prefer that the child be raised by their new family and not a daycare center.  A concept that I truly understand and respect.  However . . . I cannot say that I am at all comfortable with being pressured into walking away from the very best job I've ever had.  Staying at home may very well be a decision that we make once the baby arrives, but I would rather it be a decision that we come to together as a family rather than out of obligation.  Honestly, in this economy, I'm very surprised that AGA can so boldly expect that of anyone.  I mean, good grief, you need 2 incomes just to afford the adoption much less the child after the adoption is finalized!  I digress . . .

The other option I'm very seriously considering is an organization called Mercy Ministries - an intake facility for women ages 13-28 with various struggles. Their program is designed to address the whole person: spiritual, physical and emotional. Services include individualized programs, biblically-based counseling, nutrition education, fitness instruction, life-skills training and educational opportunities. Their goal is to have each young woman not only complete the 6-month program, but also discover the purpose for her life and bring value to her community as a productive citizen.  Adoption services are just one of the many resources offered to these young women.  This is such good news to me, as a prospective adoptive parent, because if I am being forced into an open adoption situation (which is apparently the route that most birthmothers AND agencies are going these days), then I want to know and trust that the birthmother I am now welcoming into my home is equipped with the same biblical foundation and moral grounding as we are and would transfer well into our family.

So, this is where we are.  Time together is a luxury that Chris and I have not had in several weeks, so it's very hard to find time for these discussions much less for any advancement in the process.  If you are inclined to pray on our behalf, I would ask that you please pray for:

1. Sufficient time together for productive and fruitful conversation, resulting in confident decisions towards advancement.
2. Wisdom, clarity, and unity of thought regarding which agency is the best fit for us - both emotionally and financially.
3. Continued momentum as we spearhead this process so as to keep things moving quickly.
4. Overall peace and confidence that we are waiting on God to show Himself to us and lead us in every decision we make.

Many, many thanks!

And The Winner Is . . .

Thank you so much for casting your vote!

We're Starting Over - Take 2!

What a rollercoaster this last year has been!  I could never have predicted the events that happened to us to lead us to this point, but I can happily say now with full confidence that we are picking back up with the adoption process and hope to welcome a beautiful new baby into our home very soon!  Initially (2009), we had agreed to adopt domestically through Bethany Christian Adoption Services; however, as we re-evaluated their applicaation process and fee schedule, we weren't as confident as we once were.  We decided that it would be a better idea to spend the short amount of time it would take to research local agencies in our state until we came across the one that made us feel most comfortable about the huge step we are about to take.  We are currently in the process of doing that right now.  We don't intend to drag our feet during this, but we do want to be sure to take the time that is necessary to feel confident and at peace with the decision we are led to make.  Now, one thing we CAN do right now is choose the family photo that will be sent in with our application (one that will also be used to show the birthmothers who we are while they attempt to choose the best family for their baby).  That being said, here are a few pics that we are deciding from.  Notice that they are numbered to correlate with the poll on the right side of the page.  We are asking our family and friends to weigh in and let us know which picture you think would be most appropriate and representative of Chris and I and the love we intend to give this child.  Thanks for your help in making this decision!

Photo No. 1:

Photo No. 2:

Photo No. 3:

Blessed Assurance

"Blessed" - divinely or supremely favored; fortunate; blissfully happy or contented; bringing happiness and thankfulness.

"Assurance" - promise or pledge; full confidence; freedom from doubt; certainty; covenant.

When I was in high school, I remember feeling a strong pull towards adoption. I can't remember exactly why this feeling started, but as I continued to learn about adoption and of orphans who are suffering around the world, I knew that this would be something I had to be a part of during my lifetime. When I met Chris and told him of my desire to adopt one day, he wasn't hesitant nor was he afraid. He easily could have pulled away or objected, since we had only begun to date at the time, but he shared in my heart's desire and was nothing short of encouraging about it during every conversation over the last 7 years.

When we made the decision 4 years ago to expand our family, we never thought adoption would be our first choice. We arrogantly assumed that we could have children of our own and would adopt later down the road. But this was not God's plan for us. Over the last 4 years, we have experienced pain and loss, heartache and disappointment time and time again. We have taken the medications, we have had the outpatient procedures, we have been intrusively examined over and over again, and God still did not see fit to bless any of those attempts. It took us a while, but we slowly began to realize that this decision was not ours to make, we played no part in this process, and it was all up to God.

I don't believe for even a second that this was something we weren't meant to experience. This process of infertility revealed so much of ourselves and of God to us, that we would never be who we are today and could never clearly hear the Call from God had we not gone through all of that. I'm so thankful that adoption has always been close to my heart because it makes letting go of one dream to walk the path towards another that much easier to accept.

So today marks the beginning of our journey. I have titled our story "Blessed Assurance" because, as you have read above, those 2 words combined means that we are fortunate and blissfully happy to confidently enter into this covenant with God. James reminds us of our responsibility to look after the orphans of this world (chapter 1 vs 27) and I am constantly reminded that we are all adopted by Christ into His eternal family through His salvation. What a joy it is to confidently know that we are following God's example by emulating His love and compassion towards others through this process. I have always felt that a "blended family" is such a beautiful representation of Christ and all the He stands for. We're so blessed to be one of the chosen few who get to experience this for ourselves.

The journey will be long and there will be many updates along the way, so I ask for your patience and prayers as we write our story. There will be times when all we're doing is waiting and there is nothing to update on. And there will be times when there's so much to update that I fall behind on my posts. But I promise that we'll do all we can to keep everyone aware of what we're going through at all times.

Right now, we've only just made the decision to move forward. So the first step in the process is to become educated on all things adoption! We are scheduled to attend a seminar in Raleigh on September 26th. There is also a much bigger conference in Nashville on October 2nd-3rd that we're considering as well (http://www.togetherforadoption.org/?page_id=11). For now, we ask for prayers regarding when and where to receive education as well as clarity and unity of thought regarding the type of adoption we are to pursue (international vs. domestic).

We thank you for your continued love, support, and prayers and can't wait to take you on this journey with us!