It's Only Just Begun

We mailed in our paperwork today!!!  We are officially on the adoption train!  It took us a little bit longer to complete the application than expected, there were some seriously difficult questions to asnwer!  But we feel comfortable with the choices we've made and we are 1 step closer to meeting our child :)  From here, we are waiting on approval for the financing we've requested through ANLC.  Once we are approved (within 72 hours of receiving the application) we can move forward with the homestudy and marketing efforts.  The great thing is that all 3 components work in tandem so we're not waiting for 1 thing to finish before we can start another.  I feel like this HUGE weight has been lifted now that everything is officially underway.  No more researching, no more deliberating, no more waiting!  We are ready to bring our little one home :)

One Step Closer . . .

Okay, so after my last post about choosing the right agency to move forward with, we took a step back and re-evaluated some things.  We spent some time gathering information and reviewing all the details for each agency we have inquired about thus far and basically came to the decision that we didn't feel comfortable with any of them (a devastating blow at the time!).  So, once again, back to the Google search I went in hopes to find one glimmer of hope that I breezed over in my previous searches that would be relevant to us now.  Upon such efforts I stumbled upon a website for a company that offers legal adoption services nationwide called Adoption Network Law Center.  Immediately I read through the entire website and loved everything about it - but having never heard of it before, I was very cautious as to whether or not it was even legit.  But to our benefit, it turns out that it is a very reputable law center throughout the country and is highly successful at what they do.  Certainly a great start so far!  So I immediately contacted them via email for more information to which they quickly followed back up with a phone call.  We were pre-screened in that inital call and scheduled for a preliminary consultation with our designated adoption coordinator on June 8th (last night).  So we spent just over an hour going through the adoption process with them from beginning to end.  We reviewed all fees required and they were very thorough and comprehensive in their presentation to us.  In a nutshell, here are the details of pursuing adoption through ANLS:

• They spend over $1m annually on marketing to birthmothers nationwide thus resulting in over 300 newborn placements a year
• After working with our adoption coordinator to setup all marketing on our behalf (4 websites, YouTube video profiles, and brochures), the average wait time to be placed is within 4 months!
• The fees are fixed (minus certain things such as travel expenses) and regulated per state laws.  They also offer financing through their company so that money is not a reason why hopeful adoptive couples are unable to achieve their dream of starting a family.
• They offer a staff that is on call for both birthmothers and adoptive parents 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
• They require prospective birthmothers to undergo an extensive pre-screening process in order to rule out any "undesirable" candidates (such as those who are looking to take advantage of medical and or social leniancies during their pregnancy or others whose intentions are fraudulous - ie. never pregnant but looking to solicit money instead).
• Our part of the adoption process is completed in less than 3 months with very little paperwork involved.  Since they are a legal firm, not an adoption agency, they handle all the paperwork on our behalf.  We will submit two 7-8 page documents alone and that's it.  All our mktg is complete within the first 2 weeks, our homestudy is complete in 6-8 weeks, and then we wait for the phone call from our Adoption Coordinator saying we have a baby!
• ANLC represents the adoptive parents, NOT the birthmothers, which works well in our favor. 

From start to end, choosing ANLC will require more of us financially, but we have the assurance of knowing the process is legally binding and finalized according to state laws, we will be placed with a newborn in a matter of mere months rather than years, and we have a much larger pool of birthmothers to choose from (which would allow us to be more selective if we choose to) and still be placed within a reasonable amount of time.  Overall, we felt great about this "agency" and have scheduled a follow-up meeting in 2 weeks to move forward with the process.  Nothing is finalized yet, but we both feel equally comfortable about proceeding with ANLC, should we choose to continue down this path.

Note the caviat in that last statement . . . "should we choose to continue down this path."  I say this because it has recently come to my attention that my beloved husband would like to pursue embryo adoption as well.  This conversation came up very randomnly earlier this week and it was clear that Chris wanted to pursue this option just as much as ANLC.  In case you aren't familar with this type of adoption, allow me to explain.  When a couple goes through IVF, there are typically several embryos left over that requires the couple to either freeze them for future use or discard them (which, in essence, is a form of abortion as embryos are considered to be a human life form).  For those couples who are successful with IVF and choose not to use their remaining embryos, they have the option to donate them to an adoption agency instead.  For us, the adoptive parents, this will allow us to experience the best of both worlds - adoption AND pregnancy.  Per my research, there is only 1 agency in NC that offers embryo adoption, however, we were very pleasantly surprised to find out that our very own team of infertility doctors and nurses at CMC Womens Institute also offers this program as well!!!!  OBVIOUSLY there are some great results from that!  Having been with this team for 3 years now, they are fully aware of our medical history and are invested in us personally. Not to mention that it will potentially be covered by our medical insurance.  Additionally, the adoptive parents are in control over choosing the birthparent couple based on profiles presented to us that we can thumb through and choose appropriately per our standards.  Because this program is offered as a service through a medical facility, it cuts out the middle man of an adoption agency, therefore also cutting down significantly on expenses and time.  And last but not least, in the state of NC, all children born are legally bound to their birthmother (ie, the woman who delivered them in the hospital), which, in this case would be me; therefore, there is no wasted time or money after the baby is born on finalizing the adoption b/c the baby is legally recognized as our "biological child" upon delivery.  So it definitely sounds like a good opportunity to pursue as well.  We are scheduled to meet with Dr. Usadi on July 5th at 9am to discuss this opportunity and our candidacy.

We are DEFINITELY one step closer to finalizing our adoption plan, but as you can see, we still have at least one major decision to make.

A Lesson In Patience

So it appears that we are certainly learning a lesson in patience already and we haven't even officially begun this process yet!  Needless to say, taking that first step of choosing an agency that's right for us is not an easy one.  I've manuevered my way through every local christian agency imaginable right now and I cannot say with complete certainty that we have yet to find "the right one".  Although I do feel one step closer. 

Initially, I was really drawn to a local Raleigh agency (Amazing Grace Adoptions) because I truly believe that they can offer a stable, consistent, and trustworthy program.  However, one of the 3 requirements they have listed before you can even submit an application is that one parent must agree to stay at home with the child until he/she is school age.  They mention that their intent here is not to be rigid or inflexible, they would just prefer that the child be raised by their new family and not a daycare center.  A concept that I truly understand and respect.  However . . . I cannot say that I am at all comfortable with being pressured into walking away from the very best job I've ever had.  Staying at home may very well be a decision that we make once the baby arrives, but I would rather it be a decision that we come to together as a family rather than out of obligation.  Honestly, in this economy, I'm very surprised that AGA can so boldly expect that of anyone.  I mean, good grief, you need 2 incomes just to afford the adoption much less the child after the adoption is finalized!  I digress . . .

The other option I'm very seriously considering is an organization called Mercy Ministries - an intake facility for women ages 13-28 with various struggles. Their program is designed to address the whole person: spiritual, physical and emotional. Services include individualized programs, biblically-based counseling, nutrition education, fitness instruction, life-skills training and educational opportunities. Their goal is to have each young woman not only complete the 6-month program, but also discover the purpose for her life and bring value to her community as a productive citizen.  Adoption services are just one of the many resources offered to these young women.  This is such good news to me, as a prospective adoptive parent, because if I am being forced into an open adoption situation (which is apparently the route that most birthmothers AND agencies are going these days), then I want to know and trust that the birthmother I am now welcoming into my home is equipped with the same biblical foundation and moral grounding as we are and would transfer well into our family.

So, this is where we are.  Time together is a luxury that Chris and I have not had in several weeks, so it's very hard to find time for these discussions much less for any advancement in the process.  If you are inclined to pray on our behalf, I would ask that you please pray for:

1. Sufficient time together for productive and fruitful conversation, resulting in confident decisions towards advancement.
2. Wisdom, clarity, and unity of thought regarding which agency is the best fit for us - both emotionally and financially.
3. Continued momentum as we spearhead this process so as to keep things moving quickly.
4. Overall peace and confidence that we are waiting on God to show Himself to us and lead us in every decision we make.

Many, many thanks!

We're Starting Over - Take 2!

What a rollercoaster this last year has been!  I could never have predicted the events that happened to us to lead us to this point, but I can happily say now with full confidence that we are picking back up with the adoption process and hope to welcome a beautiful new baby into our home very soon!  Initially (2009), we had agreed to adopt domestically through Bethany Christian Adoption Services; however, as we re-evaluated their applicaation process and fee schedule, we weren't as confident as we once were.  We decided that it would be a better idea to spend the short amount of time it would take to research local agencies in our state until we came across the one that made us feel most comfortable about the huge step we are about to take.  We are currently in the process of doing that right now.  We don't intend to drag our feet during this, but we do want to be sure to take the time that is necessary to feel confident and at peace with the decision we are led to make.  Now, one thing we CAN do right now is choose the family photo that will be sent in with our application (one that will also be used to show the birthmothers who we are while they attempt to choose the best family for their baby).  That being said, here are a few pics that we are deciding from.  Notice that they are numbered to correlate with the poll on the right side of the page.  We are asking our family and friends to weigh in and let us know which picture you think would be most appropriate and representative of Chris and I and the love we intend to give this child.  Thanks for your help in making this decision!

Photo No. 1:

Photo No. 2:

Photo No. 3: