November 3, 2009

My Wilderness Story

I am currently immersed in a new Bible Study called "One In A Million" by Priscilla Shirer. This study takes a closer look into the lives of the Israelites during their exodus from Egypt into the Promised Land and forces us to examine the parallels of that story in our own life as well. Clearly, my "wilderness" experience would be that of walking through infertility and into the
"promised-land living" of adoption. Today's lesson took me to Deuteronomy 8 - a closer look at the time when the Israelites began to complain and question God as He led them through their literal wilderness. As I was reading this passage of scripture, I suddenly realized that this was my story (metaphorically speaking) spelled out in a way that captured my attention. Continue reading below:

"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart . . . He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna . . . to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God . . . Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt . . . You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth . . . If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed.

Personal Translation:
Do not forget why God chose you to experience the pains of infertility. He needed to humble you and test you so that you could both understand and acknowledge what was really in your heart. He intentionally caused you to hunger and long for the desire of children of your own in order to teach you that fulfilling that desire is not what sustains you, but it is Christ Himself who is the true Sustainer. You are to cling to the Living Word of God during your walk through the wilderness and fully submit yourself to the knowledge that He alone is the source of your Daily Bread. It is through faithful discipline, obedience, and submission that He can then lead you to a place of abundance and joy overflowing. Not only will He give you the desires of your heart that you have been longing for and patiently waiting for, but you will experience a joy so satisfying in your intimacy with Christ that otherwise would have never been possible. But do not forget to give all glory and praise to the Father as a result of your current blessings and circumstances. It is easy to forget and think that you were somehow the one in control, making things happen for yourself. But it was God who took you to the edge of the wilderness, where you did not want to go, in order to strip you of your pride and relinquish your control, and it was God who brought you through to the overwhelming promised-land flowing with blessings beyond comprehension as a result of your obedience and love for the Father. Only with Christ are you given the ability to produce and retain blessing upon your life. If you ever forget the Lord your God and shift your focus toward other "idols" - in this case, the idol of having that baby you so desperately long for - then you and your dreams will surely be destroyed. Do not lose focus - for it is only God Almighty who has the power to give and the power to take away.

"Thank you, Lord, that your Word is Living and Active! Thank you that I can come to it expecting to learn something new from You. Thank you for the challenges that are behind me and the blessings that are in front of me. With your faithful guidance, direct my steps toward the Promised Land. Amen"

September 8, 2009

To Be "Called"

Many Christians use this term frequently, but I wonder if they truly understand its meaning. Chris and I have most assuredly been called to adopt and care for the orphans of this world. More and more I am convinced that God created us for this purpose. Our hearts are naturally softened by the idea of adoption, and our life together has proven to be one that is meant for this very calling. Pricilla Shirer made a statement in her study "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed" that I am currently engaged in that says:
"What the Lord calls, He establishes (He sets things securely in order and prepares them for the specified purpose). That is: He brings into existence and assures the ability for the outcome to fulfill His purposes and plans. When God establishes a person for a specific purpose, He secures, equips, and fortifies the person called so that he or she is fully capable of performing the task at hand."
I love how profound this statement is! In simple terms, we are to trust that if God calls us, He will equip us. There's no room or reason for doubt. In terms of this adoption journey we are on, there are so many unanswered questions and reasons for spiritual discernment. The financial aspect alone is enough to make many a man quiver in their boots. But the peace comes when we understand what it means to have been chosen and called by God for His divine purposes and trust in His ability to equip and sustain us through our journey. Praise the Lord that we are able to walk confidently into situations that we, otherwise, would feel ill-equipped to handle on our own.

August 3, 2009

God is ABLE!

I have a fresh word from God that I will claim each day of this journey. A new piece of scripture that I will recite every day throughout this process. Ephesians 3:20-21. My God is ABLE!

I just got home from my weekend in Greensboro with Beth Moore, Kay Arthur, and Priscilla Shirer. Words cannot even express how amazing these women are. Their love for Christ and their commitment to follow Him each day of their lives is nothing short of spectacular! Christ spoke directly to my heart this weekend and He brought a fresh Word from His scripture. While all the women were incredibly encouraging and inspiring, it was Ms. Priscilla that God used to speak to me directly. Ephesians 3:20-21 says "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." I have heard this verse a million times, but never heard it broken down like Priscilla did for us this weekend. She took this verse step by step to make sure that we did not miss an ounce of what the Lord packed into this verse. First, there is a TIME. The very first word in this verse is "Now". There is a specific time to look at the ability of God and that time is now. If you read carefully the first 3 chapters of Ephesians, Paul is making an extravagant request to God. He's not asking for something small, he's not shying away from the giant requests in His heart b/c he limits God and puts His ability into a box, He blatantly lays out before God the extravagant requests on his heart. He is saying that NOW is the time to believe in the ability of God. Ms. Kay had reminded us the night before that we need to constantly "fix our eyes on Jesus" - it's a deliberate choice we make to choose God every day and believe in His ability to do all things. Then there is a TURNING - "to Him". We must turn our attention and our focus towards Christ alone. Next there is a TRUTH - "who IS able to do". Followed by TRANSCENDENCE and TOTALITY - "exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond all that we can ask or imagine". Then comes TURBO POWER - "according to the POWER that is at work within us (meaning the Holy Spirit of God)". And finally there is a TRIBUTE - " to HIM be all the glory and honor and praise forever and ever, amen"! God is concerned about ALL that concerns you (me). Our God is willing AND able to do anything for us. The question is, am I a disciple who truly believes that He CAN? We were challenged to pray the following prayer: "Lord, do this one thing (fill in the blank with your request) . . . or something better!" To go "beyond the beyond". Christ is able to do anything He wants with us. He is able to heal my body of infertility. He is ABLE to provide the means for this adoption to come into fruition. And the best part about that to me, is that He is able to do these things in a way that can only point to Himself and draw others to the glory and the majesty of our great, BIG God! "Thank you Jesus for being willing and able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond, all that I can even hope or imagine . . . to YOU alone be the praise and the honor and the glory forever!"
Here is a picture of Travis Cottrell and his praise team leading our hearts into worship (an amazingly blessed time before God).

And here they are: Ms. Beth, Ms. Kay, and Ms. Priscilla!

I'd like to introduce you to my soul sista! This is Kelly Sides. Kelly is my dear, sweet friend. She is my prayer warrior. She is my source of comfort and companionship on this earth. Kelly has a heart as big as the ocean and she loves me just that much! I would experience far more troubles on this journey if it were not for the sweet love and sincerity of spirit in my friend Kelly. God places people in our life for specific seasons and periods of time, and this season is Kelly's season! I'm so fortunate to have her every single day! She is someone that I can laugh with, cry with, Praise Jesus with, experience Jesus with, and just be still and silent with. I love her!

July 29, 2009

Debut of the Harrell Adoption Notebook!

It is understood that after you've met me one time you comprehend just how much of an organized, type-A personality that I am. I am sure that God made me this way for a purpose! He knew that it would help tremendously during our adoption process. So, in order to gear up for the mounds of paperwork we are slowly beginning to receive, I have created the Harrell Adoption Notebook. The one-stop shopping to all things Harrell adoption (if you will) :)

Front Cover


Inside Flap: ID card and Pocket folder which contains all the agency DVD's and pamphlets we're receiving.


Spiral-bound notebook to keep all our handwritten notes from seminars and conferences together with the rest of our adoption information

First Tab: Agency information and applications

The remaining tabs will be comprised of financial information, copies of all paperwork we complete and submit, letters of encouragement and support, etc.

July 24, 2009

Encouragement, Promises, and Reassurance from God

On infertility: "'Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,' says the LORD." (Isaiah 54:1)

On adoption as the heart of God: "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed." (Psalm 82:3)

On the type of adoption that is best for you: "But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'" (1 Sam 16:7)

On beginning the journey: "Every prudent man acts out of knowledge, but a fool exposes his folly." (Proverbs 13:16)

On open adoption: "So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." (1 Samuel 1:28)

On legal and financial aspects of adoption: "But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons." (Galatians 4:4-5)

On going through the process of adoption: "He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will." (Ephesians 1:5)

On waiting: "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

On the completion of your new family: "God sets the lonely in families . . ." (Psalm 68:6)
"Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." (Mark 5:19)

July 22, 2009

Blessed Assurance

"Blessed" - divinely or supremely favored; fortunate; blissfully happy or contented; bringing happiness and thankfulness.

"Assurance" - promise or pledge; full confidence; freedom from doubt; certainty; covenant.

When I was in high school, I remember feeling a strong pull towards adoption. I can't remember exactly why this feeling started, but as I continued to learn about adoption and of orphans who are suffering around the world, I knew that this would be something I had to be a part of during my lifetime. When I met Chris and told him of my desire to adopt one day, he wasn't hesitant nor was he afraid. He easily could have pulled away or objected, since we had only begun to date at the time, but he shared in my heart's desire and was nothing short of encouraging about it during every conversation over the last 7 years.

When we made the decision 4 years ago to expand our family, we never thought adoption would be our first choice. We arrogantly assumed that we could have children of our own and would adopt later down the road. But this was not God's plan for us. Over the last 4 years, we have experienced pain and loss, heartache and disappointment time and time again. We have taken the medications, we have had the outpatient procedures, we have been intrusively examined over and over again, and God still did not see fit to bless any of those attempts. It took us a while, but we slowly began to realize that this decision was not ours to make, we played no part in this process, and it was all up to God.

I don't believe for even a second that this was something we weren't meant to experience. This process of infertility revealed so much of ourselves and of God to us, that we would never be who we are today and could never clearly hear the Call from God had we not gone through all of that. I'm so thankful that adoption has always been close to my heart because it makes letting go of one dream to walk the path towards another that much easier to accept.

So today marks the beginning of our journey. I have titled our story "Blessed Assurance" because, as you have read above, those 2 words combined means that we are fortunate and blissfully happy to confidently enter into this covenant with God. James reminds us of our responsibility to look after the orphans of this world (chapter 1 vs 27) and I am constantly reminded that we are all adopted by Christ into His eternal family through His salvation. What a joy it is to confidently know that we are following God's example by emulating His love and compassion towards others through this process. I have always felt that a "blended family" is such a beautiful representation of Christ and all the He stands for. We're so blessed to be one of the chosen few who get to experience this for ourselves.

The journey will be long and there will be many updates along the way, so I ask for your patience and prayers as we write our story. There will be times when all we're doing is waiting and there is nothing to update on. And there will be times when there's so much to update that I fall behind on my posts. But I promise that we'll do all we can to keep everyone aware of what we're going through at all times.

Right now, we've only just made the decision to move forward. So the first step in the process is to become educated on all things adoption! We are scheduled to attend a seminar in Raleigh on September 26th. There is also a much bigger conference in Nashville on October 2nd-3rd that we're considering as well (http://www.togetherforadoption.org/?page_id=11). For now, we ask for prayers regarding when and where to receive education as well as clarity and unity of thought regarding the type of adoption we are to pursue (international vs. domestic).

We thank you for your continued love, support, and prayers and can't wait to take you on this journey with us!