My Wilderness Story

I am currently immersed in a new Bible Study called "One In A Million" by Priscilla Shirer. This study takes a closer look into the lives of the Israelites during their exodus from Egypt into the Promised Land and forces us to examine the parallels of that story in our own life as well. Clearly, my "wilderness" experience would be that of walking through infertility and into the
"promised-land living" of adoption. Today's lesson took me to Deuteronomy 8 - a closer look at the time when the Israelites began to complain and question God as He led them through their literal wilderness. As I was reading this passage of scripture, I suddenly realized that this was my story (metaphorically speaking) spelled out in a way that captured my attention. Continue reading below:

"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart . . . He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna . . . to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God . . . Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt . . . You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth . . . If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed.

Personal Translation:
Do not forget why God chose you to experience the pains of infertility. He needed to humble you and test you so that you could both understand and acknowledge what was really in your heart. He intentionally caused you to hunger and long for the desire of children of your own in order to teach you that fulfilling that desire is not what sustains you, but it is Christ Himself who is the true Sustainer. You are to cling to the Living Word of God during your walk through the wilderness and fully submit yourself to the knowledge that He alone is the source of your Daily Bread. It is through faithful discipline, obedience, and submission that He can then lead you to a place of abundance and joy overflowing. Not only will He give you the desires of your heart that you have been longing for and patiently waiting for, but you will experience a joy so satisfying in your intimacy with Christ that otherwise would have never been possible. But do not forget to give all glory and praise to the Father as a result of your current blessings and circumstances. It is easy to forget and think that you were somehow the one in control, making things happen for yourself. But it was God who took you to the edge of the wilderness, where you did not want to go, in order to strip you of your pride and relinquish your control, and it was God who brought you through to the overwhelming promised-land flowing with blessings beyond comprehension as a result of your obedience and love for the Father. Only with Christ are you given the ability to produce and retain blessing upon your life. If you ever forget the Lord your God and shift your focus toward other "idols" - in this case, the idol of having that baby you so desperately long for - then you and your dreams will surely be destroyed. Do not lose focus - for it is only God Almighty who has the power to give and the power to take away.

"Thank you, Lord, that your Word is Living and Active! Thank you that I can come to it expecting to learn something new from You. Thank you for the challenges that are behind me and the blessings that are in front of me. With your faithful guidance, direct my steps toward the Promised Land. Amen"