A Lesson In Patience

So it appears that we are certainly learning a lesson in patience already and we haven't even officially begun this process yet!  Needless to say, taking that first step of choosing an agency that's right for us is not an easy one.  I've manuevered my way through every local christian agency imaginable right now and I cannot say with complete certainty that we have yet to find "the right one".  Although I do feel one step closer. 

Initially, I was really drawn to a local Raleigh agency (Amazing Grace Adoptions) because I truly believe that they can offer a stable, consistent, and trustworthy program.  However, one of the 3 requirements they have listed before you can even submit an application is that one parent must agree to stay at home with the child until he/she is school age.  They mention that their intent here is not to be rigid or inflexible, they would just prefer that the child be raised by their new family and not a daycare center.  A concept that I truly understand and respect.  However . . . I cannot say that I am at all comfortable with being pressured into walking away from the very best job I've ever had.  Staying at home may very well be a decision that we make once the baby arrives, but I would rather it be a decision that we come to together as a family rather than out of obligation.  Honestly, in this economy, I'm very surprised that AGA can so boldly expect that of anyone.  I mean, good grief, you need 2 incomes just to afford the adoption much less the child after the adoption is finalized!  I digress . . .

The other option I'm very seriously considering is an organization called Mercy Ministries - an intake facility for women ages 13-28 with various struggles. Their program is designed to address the whole person: spiritual, physical and emotional. Services include individualized programs, biblically-based counseling, nutrition education, fitness instruction, life-skills training and educational opportunities. Their goal is to have each young woman not only complete the 6-month program, but also discover the purpose for her life and bring value to her community as a productive citizen.  Adoption services are just one of the many resources offered to these young women.  This is such good news to me, as a prospective adoptive parent, because if I am being forced into an open adoption situation (which is apparently the route that most birthmothers AND agencies are going these days), then I want to know and trust that the birthmother I am now welcoming into my home is equipped with the same biblical foundation and moral grounding as we are and would transfer well into our family.

So, this is where we are.  Time together is a luxury that Chris and I have not had in several weeks, so it's very hard to find time for these discussions much less for any advancement in the process.  If you are inclined to pray on our behalf, I would ask that you please pray for:

1. Sufficient time together for productive and fruitful conversation, resulting in confident decisions towards advancement.
2. Wisdom, clarity, and unity of thought regarding which agency is the best fit for us - both emotionally and financially.
3. Continued momentum as we spearhead this process so as to keep things moving quickly.
4. Overall peace and confidence that we are waiting on God to show Himself to us and lead us in every decision we make.

Many, many thanks!

And The Winner Is . . .

Thank you so much for casting your vote!

We're Starting Over - Take 2!

What a rollercoaster this last year has been!  I could never have predicted the events that happened to us to lead us to this point, but I can happily say now with full confidence that we are picking back up with the adoption process and hope to welcome a beautiful new baby into our home very soon!  Initially (2009), we had agreed to adopt domestically through Bethany Christian Adoption Services; however, as we re-evaluated their applicaation process and fee schedule, we weren't as confident as we once were.  We decided that it would be a better idea to spend the short amount of time it would take to research local agencies in our state until we came across the one that made us feel most comfortable about the huge step we are about to take.  We are currently in the process of doing that right now.  We don't intend to drag our feet during this, but we do want to be sure to take the time that is necessary to feel confident and at peace with the decision we are led to make.  Now, one thing we CAN do right now is choose the family photo that will be sent in with our application (one that will also be used to show the birthmothers who we are while they attempt to choose the best family for their baby).  That being said, here are a few pics that we are deciding from.  Notice that they are numbered to correlate with the poll on the right side of the page.  We are asking our family and friends to weigh in and let us know which picture you think would be most appropriate and representative of Chris and I and the love we intend to give this child.  Thanks for your help in making this decision!

Photo No. 1:

Photo No. 2:

Photo No. 3:

My Wilderness Story

I am currently immersed in a new Bible Study called "One In A Million" by Priscilla Shirer. This study takes a closer look into the lives of the Israelites during their exodus from Egypt into the Promised Land and forces us to examine the parallels of that story in our own life as well. Clearly, my "wilderness" experience would be that of walking through infertility and into the
"promised-land living" of adoption. Today's lesson took me to Deuteronomy 8 - a closer look at the time when the Israelites began to complain and question God as He led them through their literal wilderness. As I was reading this passage of scripture, I suddenly realized that this was my story (metaphorically speaking) spelled out in a way that captured my attention. Continue reading below:

"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart . . . He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna . . . to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God . . . Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt . . . You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth . . . If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed.

Personal Translation:
Do not forget why God chose you to experience the pains of infertility. He needed to humble you and test you so that you could both understand and acknowledge what was really in your heart. He intentionally caused you to hunger and long for the desire of children of your own in order to teach you that fulfilling that desire is not what sustains you, but it is Christ Himself who is the true Sustainer. You are to cling to the Living Word of God during your walk through the wilderness and fully submit yourself to the knowledge that He alone is the source of your Daily Bread. It is through faithful discipline, obedience, and submission that He can then lead you to a place of abundance and joy overflowing. Not only will He give you the desires of your heart that you have been longing for and patiently waiting for, but you will experience a joy so satisfying in your intimacy with Christ that otherwise would have never been possible. But do not forget to give all glory and praise to the Father as a result of your current blessings and circumstances. It is easy to forget and think that you were somehow the one in control, making things happen for yourself. But it was God who took you to the edge of the wilderness, where you did not want to go, in order to strip you of your pride and relinquish your control, and it was God who brought you through to the overwhelming promised-land flowing with blessings beyond comprehension as a result of your obedience and love for the Father. Only with Christ are you given the ability to produce and retain blessing upon your life. If you ever forget the Lord your God and shift your focus toward other "idols" - in this case, the idol of having that baby you so desperately long for - then you and your dreams will surely be destroyed. Do not lose focus - for it is only God Almighty who has the power to give and the power to take away.

"Thank you, Lord, that your Word is Living and Active! Thank you that I can come to it expecting to learn something new from You. Thank you for the challenges that are behind me and the blessings that are in front of me. With your faithful guidance, direct my steps toward the Promised Land. Amen"